“Figuring out what, at the end of your life, will have made it a life well lived – and figuring out how to stay in pursuit of it – is what I’d teach my younger self.”

Episode 258

What I Wish I Knew Sooner, Part 4: The Truth About Priorities

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Hello, Gorgeous Soul.

If I could go back and tell my younger self something, it would be this:
Figure out what really matters in life.
Figure out what, at the end of your life, made it a life well lived.
And then figure out HOW to not forget it.
It’s so easy when the world is always telling us that the things that we should be focused on are things like money, success, material possessions, and achievements.
We’re so programmed to believe that we have to get all the things done first, we have to be productive in order to enjoy the things about life that really matter.
Get the house clean, get the errands run, get the project finished and THEN you’ll be able to focus on what’s really important.
And then, In our hardest moments, when our world is upside down, we remember again.
The best worst club, I’ve talked about it a lot. People who’ve been through the worst thing you can imagine and survived….we receive a gift.
It’s the gift of perspective of what really matters of what life is all about. And even though you kind of wish you didn’t have to go through this thing to GET the gift, you will be changed forever. Because once you know, you can’t UNKNOW.
You CAN forget it and THAT’S my WHY for why I do what I do.
Because at the end of the day, the thing EVERYONE is doing everything for, going through the motions, jumping through the hoops, trying to change themselves, all the achieving and striving and hustling to be successful is so you can feel PEACE.
Once I get THIS, then I can feel peace and THEN I can settle down and enjoy my life, my people, the world.
What I would go back and tell my younger self is don’t do that. Actually.
REMEMBER what matters.
FIGURE OUT A WAY to stop FORGETTING what matters.
Do whatever you have to do to be REMINDED of this every day.
Because the world will tell you that it’s your success and your productivity and your achievement that make you worthy and once you achieve it, THEN you will feel peace and love and joy.
So your days and your life will easily slip away while you’re knocking shit off your to do list.
And every day you tell yourself “As soon as I get THIS done, as soon as I get through this busy couple of weeks, as soon as I get this project done, as soon as I get my house clean, THEN I can be more present, is a lie.
Because there’s no end. There will ALWAYS be something else to strive for.
If I could tell my younger self something I would say don’t forget, don’t wait until the world is turned upside down AGAIN to remember that what matters is accessible NOW.
They exist now In the moments that feel insignificant, in the moments that aren’t noteworthy.
Isn’t it so GREAT that there’s SO many of them?
The awards, the achievements, the success, the money, the house, the shoes, the vacations, the adventures might feel more exciting, but they aren’t actually want you’re looking for.
So these BIG things you think you need to achieve in order to settle down and enjoy your life are actually keeping you from enjoying your life.
What you want is here NOW.
I’d remind my younger self that, unfortunately, there is NO end to things that could be done. There will always be something else that pops on the list of things to do or change or achieve.
So if you’re waiting…
For the right time
Until you have more money
Until things slow down…
Until you’ve found the perfect routine…
It’s not going to happen. There is no end.
This moment is your life.
THIS moment is your life.
Go ahead and dream big, be ambitious, enjoy your accomplishments and achievements.
Just don’t forget that THOSE things are just the sprinkles on top…they’re fun but you don’t NEED them.
At the end of the day, at the end fo your life, what matters is that you are THERE, present, being ALIVE while you’re alive, being WITH, connected to people who you love and who love you.
And THAT is abundantly available NOW, not after you’ve achieved, now.
So, I’d tell my younger self to write this down and because it’s so easy to forget, figure out a way NOT to…staple it to your face….what matters most has nothing to do with your to-do list, your achievements, or your productivity. It’s the mundane moments that hold everything you want…peace, love, and connection.
Be here now.

– Kristen

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