Hello, Gorgeous Soul.
Today’s episode is going to be SHORT and SWEET.
I am recording this episode on October 5th….just 5 days before my 45th birthday!!
Sometimes in the past on birthday week, I’ve shared like the top 10 thoughts I have rewired..solidified in my subconscious…. that keep me in that Calm AF energy.
Things like “People are inherently GOOD” . This belief helps me lean into curiosity instead of judgement and fear.
Like I said, I hold these beliefs to be true and while there are things outside of me that might make me pause…but because I’ve done the work to believe them at the subconscious level, they feel solid and helpful.
So I was going to share those with you today, but over the last few months, there’s been something weighing heavy on my heart.
Something that I’ve always known is underlying ALL the self doubt, ALL the overthinking, ALL the people pleasing and perfectionism and anxiety and despair.
And that is the notion that worthiness is something you have to LEARN.
Something that you STRIVE to become.
The self help industry is an 11 BILLION dollar industry.
The health and wellness industry is a 3 billion dollar industry.
The diet industry is a 254 BILLION dollar industry.
ALL of these industries are founded in telling people….mostly women…how to CHANGE who they are so they can feel better.
Just follow these steps so you can lose weight so you can feel better.
Follow this formula so you can be more productive so you can feel better.
Take this class so you can be more successful, more organized so you can feel better.
In a nutshell, we’re being bombarded with the message of:
Change who you are so you can feel WORTHY.
And this narrative breaks my heart. And I FULLY understand that what I do can be lumped in the self help industry.
It’s just that My approach is: I don’t think you are doing anything WRONG. I don’t think you need to learn how to change your thoughts so you BECOME worthy.
Worthiness isn’t something you TRY to be.
It’s not something you will BECOME if you strive, try, or hustle.
You are just worthy.
Maybe we need to invent a new word.
Because my black and white, literal thinkers, my perfectionists and overachievers, they LOVE to have very specific metrics to base things off of.
Like the definition according to Websters is having or showing the qualities or abilities that merit recognition in a specified way.
Which kinda sounds like you have to EARN it, doesn’t it?
Ok, that’s Websters definition.
What I”m talking about when I talk about self worth is that you are just inherently worthy of being YOURSELF.
Who you ARE is worthy of being alive. Of being authentic. Of being YOUR special magic potion of your body, your soul and your mind.
You are BORN with the qualities or abilities that merit recognition to be worthy.
Your personality, your soul, your heart….this is what makes you WORTHY.
So it’s never something you have to try to become.
You don’t BECOME worthy.
You don’t work on your thoughts and then LEARN self worth.
You UNLEARN unworthiness.
You UNLEARN the beliefs that your personality, your soul, your heart need to be CHANGED in order to be accepted.
In a world where we are CONSTANTLY being told that there is a certain way we should all aspire to be: beautiful, thin, young, successful, wealthy, healthy, extroverted, popular, neurotypical, polite….
It leaves 99% of us feeling like who we are, how we’re built, how we’re wired is WRONG.
And so what do we do with that?
We compare ourselves to others and feel less-than.
We bend over backwards to get approval from others to make up for the areas we’re lacking.
We spend our lives TRYING different things hoping that THIS will change the thing that makes me unworthy.
But it never does.
Because you’re not MEANT to be a different human.
I am NOT saying that we can’t DESIRE change. I am ALWAYS experimenting with things to see if I can make my life feel easier, if I can add more connection or joy.
But I am not STRIVING to become different so I can be WORTHY of existing as myself.
I just am because I was born this way 45 years ago.
YOU are worthy of existing as yourself.
In this body.
With this brain.
With this personality.
With this wiring.
When you UNLEARN the unworthiness, you get to just have FUN with transformation.
That’s my MISSION in life.
To help you lighten the fuck UP.
To deeply embody YOUR worthiness.
So you don’t spend this precious life trying to be something different, but to spend it being FULLY yourself.
You don’t have to TRY to feel worthy.
You have to UNLEARN unworthiness.
Start with awareness. Knowing that these billion dollar industries that really run everything are RELYING on you feeling unworthy.
Start SEEING it.
And bring yourself back to YOU.
This amazing GORGEOUS soul who’s going through the process of UNLEARNING this shit that’s been forced on you for your entire life.
You are so amazing. Not who you’re becoming. YOU, NOW. AMAZING.
You already are worthy. Nothing to prove.
I’d LOVE it if you shared THIS episode. With people you love. With anyone who may need to lighten up and stop hustling for their worth.
Love you so very much, you Gorgeous Soul.