Hello, Gorgeous Soul.
Helloooo! Welcome to Calm AF.
I am SO excited to be here today. My new coaching program Rewired AF starts TODAY if you are listening to this episode on Wednesday September 15th.
And listen. There MIGHT still be a spot left. If you have been on the fence, or thinking about it….I waaaant to but I’m just not sure I can do it.
Just reach out. Send me a DM on instagram or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or whatever. I don’t want FEAR or NERVES or DOUBT or MONEY or anything else to be the thing that stops you from being Calm AF. Reach out.
Today you may hear some noise in the background.
And THAT is because over the last week the SHIT has hit the fan at our house.
I will go into the whole story but the MESSAGE for today is this: You ALWAYS have two choices when it comes to stressful situations.
You can be PANICKED AF. ANXIOUS AF. AFRAID AF.
OR Calm AF.
And I’m going to share with you why it’s ALWAYS worth it to choose calm AF.
SO let’s start with last week and this week being the busiest two weeks in my business.
Like I just talked about, I’m right at the end of a launch for Rewired AF.
And maybe you are in business and when I say launch you totally understand what happens at the end.
But it’s really any project or event. Even a birthday party.
There’s planning ahead of time. Then there’s a lull. And then RIGHT before the event there’s a GAZILLION things to do.
THAT’S where I was in the launch when I was sitting at my desk and noticed water was coming out the closet door and slowly moving towards my desk.
So I call Dave.
I tell him there’s water in the basement and he’s like “OH probably the sump pump.” We had just had a super heavy rain and our neighbors basement flooded. But it was a different closet.
But I have no idea how any of it works so I’m like maybe.
Dave gets home and I was right. NOT the sump pump. But probably the hot water heater.
So we call a plumber.
He comes out the next morning and he’s like, “Well, your hot water heater IS leaking. There’s a dent in the bottom and the water is pooling and there’s standing water. BUT. That’s not where the flooding was coming from.
It looks like it’s coming from the a/c.
So we call an HVAC company. They come out the next day.
YUP. Our a/c is a dinosaur. We knew when we moved in it would probably need to be replaced but it’s lasted 4 years so far.
So, we’re gonna need a new a/c and while we’re at it a new furnace. Because they go together like Rama lama ding dong.
Now’s a good time to tell you about the PREVIOUS owners of this house.
The previous owner was a contractor.
What I’ve learned from wives of contractors and from one of my clients who’s a realtor is that contractors are NOTORIOUS for knowing how to cut corners and often DO when it comes to their OWN homes.
It’s just what I heard.
But the contractor who lived here before us ABSOLUTELY cut corners. I’m guessing they decided to move and did a whole home renovation and did it VERY quickly. The housing market in Colorado 4 years ago was hotter than it is today.
For example, the floor they put in was like Pergo so it fits together like a puzzle. But OUR floor moves around because they didn’t care about it fitting together tightly.
And we have a cabinet that doesn’t open all the way because of the molding on the window. And one cabinet we can only open if the dishwasher is open.
So. It might not surprise you that what the previous owner did was smoosh ALL the mechanicals into a tiny tight spot and then built a wall around them. Not a closet. Just built a wall around them and put doors on either side.
EVERY single repair person we’ve had here in the last 4 years looks at it and goes “WHAT THE HELL???”
We are constantly having to apologize for them having to climb OVER something or reach around something in order to do their job.
Anyway. As you might guess. As we’re learning all of these things need to be replaced…we’re gonna have to tear a wall down.
So they’re here right now and they are having to drill into walls and cut out drywall because of wiring…it’s ridiculous.
This leaking hot water heater is LIKELY going to lead to an entire house makeover.
And the timing RIGHT at the end of my launch, IN my office….not convenient.
Also? Let’s not forget the SCARIEST piece of this….
This is going to cost a FORTUNE!!!
The trifecta necessary to send a human brain into a FULL ON PANIC.
And while I will fully admit I have had my moments of “OMG HOLY SHIT”
Or “Why is this happening? Why is it happening NOW? How are we gonna pay for all this?”
I have chosen Calm AF.
More accurately, I am DECIDING to CHOOSE Calm AF every 10 minutes or so.
That’s my message for you today.
YOU ALWAYS have a choice.
No matter WHAT the circumstance is.
You ALWAYS have a choice.
Panicked AF or Calm AF.
TRULY. NO matter what the situation.
You DO have a choice.
Sometimes people like to argue with me on this….no I can’t. I TRY to control it but I can’t.
Of COURSE you can.
I couldn’t control the water in the basement.
I couldn’t control that the a/c and furnace and hot water heater needed to be replaced or a wall needed to be torn down.
I couldn’t control the TIMING of all of this happening.
Those are absolutely things that are out of my control.
But I ALWAYS have control over how I think about it.
Which determines how I FEEL about it.
If I’m thinking “OH MY GOD. This is AWFUL. This timing couldn’t be worse. How are we going to manage ALL of this AND finish this launch?
How are we going to AFFORD all of this? We don’t just keep this kind of money sitting around.
How are we ever going to figure this out???
Then those thoughts are creating PANIC.
It’s a CHOICE to choose those thoughts.
Most people think they can’t. I can’t control it, those thoughts just pop right into my head.
YES. Because your brain is designed to go to the worst case scenario, your first few thoughts might be panicked or anxious thoughts.
If you don’t PRACTICE calm AF thoughts on PURPOSE, they aren’t going to do you any good when shit hits the fan.
When the unexpected happens.
When something inconvenient or EXPENSIVE shows up.
Sometimes people think the answer is to make sure you are prepared for EVERY little thing that might happen, but that creates FRAGILE peace.
Here’s an example:
I could feel stressed AF about how much this is going to cost. I could spend ALL my time worrying about the money….and ONLY feel better once it’s figured out.
OR I could remember that I always figure everything out.
Because I do.
And so do you.
The MOST stressful, unexpected things you’ve ever experienced in your life, you have gotten through. You HAVE figured out because that’s just what we do.
We figure it out.
Really think about that.
If you deeply believed that thought…if that was a thought that you practiced believing when everything was ok… “I figure things out. I will figure out what to do. I can handle ANYthing that comes my way” because those thoughts are TRUE…if those thoughts were practiced often until that neural connection became stronger, then instead of panicking until you figure it out….you could simply choose Calm AF.
The reason why I’m able to stay calm and centered when bad things or unexpected things happen is NOT because I’m special, it’s because I PRACTICE.
I could have chosen to be freaked the fuck out for the last week, but WHY?
If I know that I have been able to figure out EVERYTHING up until now….and I now that one way or another, we will make this work….I can choose to trust.
I can lighten up.
I can actively CHOOSE calm AF.
You always have a choice.
And let me just remind you, that anxiety, worry and panic have NEVER led to figuring out problems.
They create MORE problems.
Worry and anxiety BLOCK you from the higher level thinking required to figure out solutions.
To solve problems.
To get creative.
Calm AF is ALWAYS the better choice.
You just have to CHOOSE it.
You just have to PRACTICE it when shit ISN’T hitting the fan.
I tapped into calm AF on purpose when I first saw the water.
And every other unexpected thing that’s happened.
My brain likes to try to panic now and then, but I remember how inefficient and what a TIME AND LIFE suck that is, and I gently bring myself back to calm.
I’m SO excited for this major up level in my home.
Because I KNOW this will lead to such an up level in my life.
And THAT thought feels SO much better than panic.
– AND –
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And if you want to dig deeper and work with a coach who’s GOT YOU, contact me to set up a free consult. I love working with people who are hard on themselves, the over-thinkers, people pleasers, perfectionists, and overachievers. Any of this ringing your bell? I’d love to hear from you!