“A pep talk on nurturing your own well-being, on embracing your strengths and imperfections, and on practicing self-compassion.”

Episode 188

A Pep Talk

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Hello, Gorgeous Soul.

You know what you’re getting today?

A pep talk.

A good old fashioned, just sit down and LISTEN to my words and USE these words to FUEL you.

First, two things.

In the show notes there’s a link to a QUIZ I created a while back. I don’t know about you but quizzes warm my Gen X heart.

I feel like quizzes belong to Gen X. I know the younger folk have the buzzfeed and online quizzes but WE had Teen Magazine quizzes. Cosmo quizzes.

The quiz in the show notes will guide you through whether you are an energy manager, people pleaser, perfectionist or overachiever and then you’ll get a little mini email course guiding you through what that means. It’s so fun.

Second thing, if you like today’s pep talk, imagine me giving you a little pep talk every single day. That’s what my Calm AF Lifers get. A DAILY pep talk.

I’ve heard so many times that it’s the LOVE letters, as I call them, that have helped people stick to their goals longer than anything they’ve tried in their life.

And I say of course. The ONLY reason we don’t stick to goals is if we aren’t relentlessly committed to it. It’s not skill or inherent talent. It’s relentless commitment.

That’s why Calm AF Life is the structured the way it is so that there’s just no reason ever again that you could forget to create the life you want.

SO today you get a pep talk because Yesterday I needed a pep talk.

I was feeling discouraged and stuck and confused and scared.

On most days, I’m able to zoom out when I’m feeling a non preferred feeling.

I’m able to observe it and notice it and name it and then just FEEL it.

Let myself just FEEL it without going into my head to try to fix it.

But yesterday I just kept getting back up in my head.

“Just feel the feeling”

“Yeah, but this seems like a big deal”

“Nope, just feel where you feel it. Just allow it”

“Okkkkkkk…there I felt it. Now I think it’s time to maybe freak out, Kristen. Let’s freak out.”

I was using all my tools but for whatever reason, it just wasn’t happening.


My old self MO here would be to isolate.

Pull all the armor up from the storage closet in my subconscious basement and freak out by myself.

I don’t know if this is truth or a myth, but I remember hearing how when wolves are injured or sick they will go off away from the pack, isolate themselves and die alone.

That’s how it feels for me when I’m dealing with something scary. Just go off and die alone. Just go off and figure this out on your own, don’t worry your pack, don’t bother anyone else with your problems.

And what I know for sure now is that THAT is NOT a sign of strength. It’s my old patterns shining through.

It’s energy managing. Oh, well if I tell someone that I’m struggling then they’re going to freak out. I’m the one who keeps everyone calm. I’m the one people come to when THEY’RE struggling, not the other way around.

I know this and I’ve gotten SO much better at being vulnerable.

But when the conditions are just right, I don’t know maybe when I’m tired combined with something isn’t working the way I want it to combined with some catastrophic thinking, I forget that I can ask people for help.

And as SOON as my brain remembered it yesterday before I could let the Yeah buts get louder, I sent a text message to Amanda. “I’m confused about this thing. I feel like I shouldn’t be, but I am. Can you help?”

She’s my best friend of COURSE she is happy to help me with something. But my brain was trying to convince me I was bothering her.

I reached out to my dear friend Chavonne and said I just need a pep talk. I’m having trouble believing in myself right now, can you just give me a pep talk?

My logical brain told me of COURSE she would be happy to give me a pep talk. That’s what we DO, we remind each other of our amazingness when we forget. But my old story was like “No, don’t let her know you’re struggling today. You are the one who’s ok. You are ALWAYS ok.”

I asked Dave to rub my neck and watch Ted Lasso with me on the couch. I was feeling vulnerable and a little raw and just really really wanted to feel safe and loved.

Again, when my neocortex is operational because my nervous system is regulated, I know that he would do anything at all to make me feel better. But my old bag of shit story was that I cannot need anyone for anything ever.

Even though I have been working through these old stories, even though they are 93% unlearned and 93% rewired….they STILL pop up when the conditions are just right. Or just wrong. I call it the perfect storm.

I wanted to share this with you today so that you know a few things.

First, your old stories will always be a part of you. The goal is to make them so quiet, you forget they’re there after a while, but I promise it’s always there waiting in the wings.

Second, I want you, especially you people pleasers and energy managers and perfectionists listening to know that asking for help will not make you seem weak.

Asking for the people who love you for support when you’re struggling is a GIFT to them. People want to be there for you.

And if your people don’t…if you don’t have people that want to see you shine, that want to support you and give you pep talks when you’re going through a rough time? No worries. I GOT YOU.

So sit back, and receive this pep talk.
From me to you.

I want you to take a deep breath and really listen to the words I’m about to say. You are enough, just as you are.
In a world that constantly tells us we need to do more, be more, and achieve more, it’s easy to feel like we’re not measuring up. But let me tell you, your worth is not defined by external expectations or by how much you can do for others. Your worthiness comes from within, from your inherent value as a human being.
You don’t need to earn your worth; it’s already yours, no strings attached. So let go of the belief that you have to make everyone else happy in order to be happy yourself. It’s a heavy burden to carry, and it’s simply not true.
Instead, focus on nurturing your own well-being, on embracing your strengths and imperfections, and on practicing self-compassion. You are worthy of love and belonging, just as you are, and your happiness matters.
Remember, vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a strength. Allow yourself to be seen, to be authentic, and to let go of the need for perfection. Embrace your true self, and surround yourself with people who lift you up, who celebrate your worthiness, and who support you on this journey.
So take a moment to appreciate the incredible person you are. Embrace your enoughness, and let it radiate out into the world. Share your unique gifts, follow your passions, and remember that your worthiness is not dependent on anyone else’s approval.
You are worthy, Gorgeous Soul. Embrace your enoughness, and let it guide you to a life filled with joy, fulfillment, and authentic connections.
That’s the life you deserve. You DESERVE nothing less.
The world needs you, exactly as you are right now.
You got this, Gorgeous Soul.


– Kristen

– AND –

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And if you want to dig deeper and work with a coach who’s GOT YOU, contact me to set up a free consult or to apply for my exclusive coaching program, Calm AF Life. I love working with people who are hard on themselves, the over-thinkers, people pleasers, perfectionists, and overachievers. Any of this ringing your bell? I’d love to hear from you!