“This is Calm AF’s 200th episode! I truly think that Calm AF was a universal energetic idea floating around looking for someone to grab it and manifest it. And I got to be the one who did. And I am so deeply grateful.”

Episode 200!!!

3 BIG Lessons from Calm AF’s First 200 Episodes

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Hello, Gorgeous Soul.

Before we jump into the celebration 200th episode episode I have 3 things to share.

1st. We are doing a 200th episode giveaway. We are giving away a calm AF tote, which I use mine constantly, a calm AF notebook, my favorite pens, my favorite oracle cards, just a whole bunch of my favorite things! All you have to do to enter is submit a review of Calm AF on apple podcasts (or wherever you listen), take a screenshot, and then send that screenshot to support@kristenfinch.com with the subject line 200. You will be entered to win and we will choose the winner by using one of those cool online pickers. If you win, you’ll be notified via email and we will get your info to send your gift! So fun.

Next, don’t forget to subscribe to YouTube Calm AF with Kristen Finch. More fun videos coming!

Last announcement. Opposite AF is enrolling now. This isn’t an intensive program, this is a LIGHT AND FUN offering. Dave and I are sharing how we can be opposite AF AND have a thriving relationship. Starting the second week of August, you will get access to some videos where Dave and I will quickly share the things that made the biggest IMPACT on our marriage. As well as things that slowed us down. And then on August 19th, we’re going to hop on zoom and answer questions. I’ve gotten questions about whether this is JUST for people in neurodiverse relationships and I will say 1000% NO. When I was a speech pathologist working with kids with autism I would often go into their regular ed classrooms and make adaptations for them, set the classroom up for MY students success, so visual schedules, communication boards, sensory equipment. And 100% of the time, the teacher would report to me, after a few weeks how VALUABLE these accommodations were for her ENTIRE classroom. “EVERY kid benefits from these accommodations!” Yep. That’s how I feel about what Dave and I share. If this worked for OUR neurodiverse relationship just THINK how it benefits everyone else. So. You should definitely sign up for it, no matter what. It’s only $111. I mean, that’s like a LIGHT trip to Target. No brainer. Get signed up. Don’t overthink it, just do it. You’ll love it.

All right.

Today is Calm AF’s 200th episode!! Isn’t that sooo fun?

I mean truly I’m not sure I’ve done ANYTHING for 200 weeks in a row.

First and foremost THANK YOU. Thank you for sharing this space with me. Thank you for showing up here week after week, sharing your favorite episodes with your friends and on social media. Thank you for letting me come on walks with you, come run errands with you, come into your bedroom, and, I’ve heard, thanks for showering with me.

Thanks for letting me share my message that means SO much to me.

It has been a JOURNEY, this podcast has given me SO many gifts and opportunities to learn and grow and so today, in celebration of 200 episodes, I’m going to share the top 200 things I’ve learned.

Just kidding.

Over the last few weeks as I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to talk about on today’s milestone episode I really started thinking about the podcast itself. And how…this is going to sound cheesy I know…but it’s not mine, I’m it’s.

Or however you’d say that.

I love the concept Elizabeth Gilbert talks about in her book Big Magic where all ideas are just energy moving from person to person and if that idea is meant for YOU, you have to grab it or it will simply move on to the next person.

This is sounding so woo. But I truly think that Calm AF was a universal energetic idea floating around the world looking for someone to grab it and manifest it. And I got to be its host.

I really believe this because of how much magic has come from it. How many people I’ve heard from who’ve told me: I have NO idea how I even found your podcast, but this episode I randomly heard spoke DIRECTLY to what I was going through.

How many people have said this podcast has changed their lives: inspired them to quit toxic jobs, leave toxic relationships, ask for what they want, stop procrastinating, set boundaries. And the few who’ve reached out to let me know that Calm AF saved their life.

I believe that’s why Calm AF was looking for it’s host, because of all the people whose paths needed to cross with it.

So I’ve been reflecting on what Calm AF has taught me as it’s grateful HOST over the last 200 weeks and I want to share it with you.

1. Do It Shitty

Now, lots of you know I’ve been telling people to do it shitty since 2012 so while Calm AF didn’t teach me this concept it really solidified the truth of it. When I started this podcast I recorded my episodes into my phone. I figured out how to get that recording to my computer and put it in this program called garage band and the ONLY thing I knew how to do on garage band was take out big mistakes and put in the music. I had no idea how to make it sound good. My criteria for good enough was that I didn’t want anyone to have to work hard to understand me. The audio was NOT good but the message was. I made my own art with a blurry picture of me.

And what I learned was that nobody cared. They were there for the message. They were there for what Calm AF (actually it was called Show up and Love at the time), but they were there for the message.

If I had waited to start my podcast until I had the perfect setup or the perfect microphone or the perfect editor, the Calm AF energy would’ve gotten tired of waiting for me and moved on to someone else.

2. Always Choose TRUE Over SHOULD

If you are simply a listener of podcasts and not a podcaster, you might not know this, but the podcast world is FULL of podcast experts. Here’s what you should do to grow your podcast. Here’s what you should do to get big names to notice you. Here’s what you should do so your podcast is taken seriously. You should make money on your podcast. You should do more interviews. You should make it sound like this, you should do that.

A few times in the last 200 weeks I’ve thought, “Oh, maybe they’re right. I want Calm AF to reach every person that it’s meant for…maybe I should be pushing more, trying harder to get it to the masses so it doesn’t miss anyone.

But I KNOW that’s not how energy works. I know that after speaking to hundreds of listeners over the years and me asking “How did you find Calm AF?” The answer is always “I don’t know. It found me. But it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear in the EXACT moment I needed to hear it.”

When I am honoring what is TRUE for Calm AF, it is definitely finding it’s people. And every attempt that I try to HURRY that, that comes from a place of SHOULD versus a place of desire, is like putting the energy in a cage.

You should be like THIS so that more people accept and validate you.

NO fuck that. When Calm AF is allowed to be what feels TRUE what feels like a YES instead of a should, it reaches the people when it reaches them and it’s perfect.

There is no rush. And pushing hard to make something happen before it’s ready to happen not only doesn’t make it happen faster, it makes it feel AWFUL.

Another beautiful lesson is there is no rush. LET things take time. It might not happen overnight but if you keep going, if you keep honoring your yeses you WILL get there.

My first episode was published on October 23, 2018. And 20 people downloaded the first episode which was me, my family, and my friends.

The first month of Calm AF (which was Show up and love at the time) there were about 100 downloads.

And I made that mean NOTHING. Because the worthiness and value of this podcast is NOT determined by numbers.

Just like your weight doesn’t define your worthiness. The number of people who like your instagram posts. The amount of money in your bank account or the number of your debt. NONE of it means ANYTHING about you.

Normally when we think something outside of us determines our worthiness, we STOP the second it feels like it’s not working. This is the foundation of the entire beauty and diet industry, they KNOW that none of this shit really works and so they are ALWAYS telling us to change things so change happens faster.

If you don’t think your worthiness depends on your weight, it won’t matter how long it takes.

The value of Calm AF is not determined by the number of people listening. And because I wasn’t letting 20 people per episode be even a BLIP on my radar, I kept going. And today 200 episode’s later we’ve got thousands listening to every episode. THOUSANDS. Like between 10-20000 a month. More than 220,000 people have listened to Calm AF over the last 3 1/2 almost 4 years.

Based on number of downloads per episode this puts Calm AF in the top 2% of all podcasts.

Now listen. To ME? That stat has NOTHING to do with Calm AF’s value. It was JUST as worthy when I had 20 listeners. It is not MORE worthy today because it has more listeners. I mean, it sounds better and I’ve gotten better at the skill of podcasting, but the worthiness hasn’t changed one bit. 200,000 downloads, top 2% is sprinkles on the cake. It is NOT the cake.

And because that is how I felt about the numbers – that they were NOT necessary to feel worthy or validated, I kept going. And here we are.

3. The EASIEST path to what you WANT is to be your most authentic self. Also? That’s where your people are.

This is one of the best lessons of all of this. I LOVE this.

Who I am on the podcast is who I am in real life. For better or for worse every week I show up and share my TRUEST self, not my prettiest self, not my most professional self, not my sleekest, smoothest self.

And because of that, it feels SO easy. I never EVER have to think about who I need to be when I sit down in the studio, because it’s just ME.

It’s so much easier to walk through life not having to think about who you need to be in order for people to like you or to keep people happy. SO much easier. OMG.

And does that mean there are people who will listen and judge me for not being more professional, not letting myself make mistakes? YES of course. Do I have 1 and 2 star ratings? I sure do!

I am not INTERESTED in the people who don’t mesh with unapologetic Kristen. I am not INTERESTED in convincing people who don’t LOVE Calm AF to love Calm AF. When I stop focusing on all the people who DON’T get me for who I am, you know what happens? The crowd parts and I see all the people who DO.

MY people. YOU, who don’t need me to be more anything or less anything…YOU who are here because energetically we match.

This is why my retreats are unbelievably powerful. Because all these people who were energetically connected to Kristen Finch’s authentic self are all energetically connected to each other.

Alright. There’s like a million more powerful lessons I’ve learned from getting to be the host of Calm AF for the last 200 episodes but let’s leave it right here.

Thank YOU for being here whether you’ve been here forever or you’re new to the party. And thank you Calm AF for choosing ME. I still feel as in love and as energized as I did the day you tapped me on the shoulder and I said yes.

Alright, don’t forget to leave a review and send the screenshot to support@kristenfinch.com to be entered in the giveaway.

I love you all SO much! I’ll see you next time.

– Kristen

– AND –

If you love this show, you can help spread the love by leaving a review online, wherever you listen to it. I read all of them and it just makes my day. Just click your favorite icon and share what you enjoy about Calm AF!

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And if you want to dig deeper and work with a coach who’s GOT YOU, contact me to set up a free consult or to apply for my exclusive coaching program, Rewired AF. I love working with people who are hard on themselves, the over-thinkers, people pleasers, perfectionists, and overachievers. Any of this ringing your bell? I’d love to hear from you!